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Funstuff and jokes Discussion, Men Are Just Happier People at General Discussions forum; Nicked from another forum MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE NICKNAMES If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they ...

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Men Are Just Happier People
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PLAN B
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Talking Men Are Just Happier People - 05-February-2008, 00:44

Nicked from another forum
MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other
Laura, Kate and Sarah.

If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each
other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in 20, even
though it's only for 32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit
they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

A man will pay 2 for a 1 item he needs.
A woman will pay 1 for a 2 item that she doesn't need but it's on
sale.

BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving
cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS

Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins,
answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends,
favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
SO, Send this to the women who can handle it and to the men who will
enjoy reading it.


   
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luisvaljun
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06-February-2008, 09:51

Jajajajajajajajajajaja
   
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kayliekitchen
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29-November-2008, 16:39

I'm rolling in laughter, It's so funny..! I always agree that jokes are half meant..and this is it.. Everything you said about the difference between a man and a women seems all a fact and not a joke. I spend 2 hours in our bathroom because of that 337 things. This are really funny. COOL!
   
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chopek
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11-December-2008, 23:36



nice
   
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ryszardzonk
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17-December-2008, 00:14

great one :) I send it to folks at work tommorow ;)
   
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19-December-2008, 17:10

old but still good!
   
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Nev
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21-December-2008, 11:50

hahahahaah nice :))))
   
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hamster08
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15-January-2009, 16:30

the one i read was the other way round:
it said how women were better then men
then at the end it said to the women to forward to their pals and not to read further

but if you went further, it said that "see, women never listen and think they are better"

oh gosh i spoilt the joke, but yea it was funny

sheehhhshh
   
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asanabuja
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15-January-2009, 20:07

yeah... great joke
   
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