Go Back   Eurocardsharing > General Discussions > General Discussions > Funstuff and jokes

Funstuff and jokes Discussion, what kills you ??? at General Discussions forum; In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all ...

LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
what kills you ???
Special Friends
PLAN B's Avatar
Posts: 2,750

Level: 41 [♥ Bé-Yêu ♥♥ Bé-Yêu ♥♥ Bé-Yêu ♥♥ Bé-Yêu ♥♥ Bé-Yêu ♥]
Life: 101 / 1017
Magic: 916 / 28745
Experience: 68%

Thanks: 373
Thanked 956 Times in 498 Posts
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: RG45 7EG
Age: 50
Talking what kills you ??? - 06-March-2009, 21:37

In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli,
cauliflower and
spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds
so Man and
Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy
Ice Cream and
Magnums. And Satan said, 'You want hot fudge with that?
And Man said,
'Yes!' And Woman said, 'I'll have one too
with chocolate chips'. And lo
they gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthy yoghurt that woman might keep
the figure
that man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and
sugar from the
cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size

So God said, 'Try my fresh green salad'. And Satan
presented Blue Cheese
dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And Man and Woman
their belts following the repast.

God then said 'I have sent you healthy vegetables and
olive oil in which
to cook them'.

And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns,
lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed
its own
platter, and Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato; naturally low in fat and
with potassium and good nutrition.

Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the
starchy centre
into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding
copious quantities
of salt. And Man put on more pounds. God then brought forth
shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds.

And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so
Man would
not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman
laughed and
cried before the flickering light and started wearing
stretch jogging

Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer
calories and
still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double
cheeseburger. Then Satan
said 'You want fries with that?' and Man replied,
'Yes, and super size
'em'. And Satan said, 'It is good.' And Man
and Woman went into cardiac

God sighed .......... and created quadruple by-pass surgery.

And then .............. Satan chuckled and created the
National Health


After an exhaustive review of the research literature,
here's the final
word on nutrition and health.:

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart
attacks than us.
2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks
than us.
3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer
heart attacks
than us.
4.. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer
fewer heart
attacks than us.
5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and
suffer fewer
heart attacks than us.
6. The French eat foie-gras, full fat cheese and drink red
wine and
suffer fewer heart attacks than us

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English
is apparently
what kills you.
Here endeth the Lesson.

Reply With Quote



Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Forum Jump

ECS on RSS ECS on Twitter ECS on Facebook ECS on Youtube
Follow us on:

Powered by vBulletin
Copyright 2002 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.